017 welcome party- back of the stage.
Monday 10/12/12. 6:15pm. ‘Kene...!’ So, some warm greetings were exchanged. ‘I really made it hard to be here…’ So, some minds were rubbed together. 7:00pm and we had arrived the scene. It was empty! So some tirade was served; ‘punctuality,’ they say, ‘is the soul of business.’
On a sombre note it started and on a tingling account it was summing up, we dashed away. ‘Can we be back in 45minutes?’ We were heading for the hospital. After a ‘heaven sent’ driver took over, we tipped the 140 bound where, in our mischievous minds, we hoped to pick them back up. 9:30pm. Accosted by the order, the driver’s license was absent!
‘I am a doctor, I’m rushing out…’ all but lies were pummeled into beauty. Off we drove. Yet another then yet another order and it was we left to crack soft jokes of respect commanded by various orders most notorious of which had a dragon for the emblem. Nigeria was the country. As we reminisced then fading memories, the forlorn tarmac submitted itself and the distance.
‘There, there, there!’ I never thought we could miss the gates! As inviting as it frowned, the track of a smile with some dating, admitted us. ‘Yeah, I’m going to pick up my bag in the ward,’ and it was done. Meanwhile, the driver and his accomplice were teasing each other on forbidden matters while doing pen forbidden things which you dear, do not fail to do. You may want to know that the accomplice’s last act before jumping into the ride was some thorough embrace, lasting some enviable while with some conspicuous piety! Am I permitted to laugh?
Hei! Hei!! hei!!! hei!!!! ‘Oh heavens! Were it not this just eloquent speaker of becoming mannerism?’ He was in sheer dash! ‘Chibuike! Chibuike!! Chibuike!!!,’ and Chibuike put the headlamps off! I Gozie, had a tough job restraining my mouth, tongue and legs at the same time. I would have done their vices on dear Chibuike. The headlamps came back on. ‘It is here! It is here!! It is here!!!’ What was there? Oh my God!
Jumping in beside the driver, Emeka hopped on. ‘Climb it! Climb it!! Climb it!!!’ Bingo! It should be a metre long taken in as it were, straightened, perhaps 3. The diameter were to be that of the tubing for a big close up toothpaste, 2 inches, roughly. Slithering sluggishly on its cursed food, intent on an elusive destination for what colours of motives, the driver was very human! On reverse gear, he was still very human. To compensate our lusting minds, he jumped into the bush. ‘We must have got it.’ A better thought than its opposite, which is the favoured fact. I never went back to check. I didn’t want it to be true! Emeka believed it was lurking underneath. He was very meticulous at inspecting, especially because he did it for ‘times.’ That guy is the wisest. Eve must agree.
Off ahead, that was where we saw it next! Two blinking brilliant spots. ‘Hei, look!’ it turned away. A pussy cat. Nerves on fire! ‘But you should have killed that thing.’ That was the parting word for the night. The students had to be on their ways. Which way? We never knew!
Back on course, through the gate, back on the road, forging ahead, worry was not known, talks, our date they were. The free reins were given to restraints, laughs paid bounteous visits, and chuckles were the page children. We indulged so and so, we were at a fork!
‘It is this.’ ‘No!’ ‘It is ahead.’ Ahead, it was pith black. No light on the horizon. Where are we? Our friends of the order, 2 mobile force units and an army dispatch. They had gone ‘under cover, ready for combat!’ The menacing truck behind of us had disappeared. At a second hopeful fork, there was a barricade! Heavens shattered! I Gozie was strong of mind but now that I think of it, it appears stupid. It was no fun. That was in fact the point of my heightened fun. What imp possessed me?
The others were infected. I am sorry that I couldn’t detect the despair in their minds and all I did was to heighten it. Yet it was good for them. They disputed my first suggestion. We were following it at last. I had earned a last laugh. What imp possessed me? A wave of panic then flew across my mind. ‘Does this road look familiar?’ Of course it was the road to our hospital. ‘No it doesn’t,’ answered the driver. Zoom! ‘ENUGU SOUTH MASS TRANSIT,’ ‘follow that vehicle!’ I shouted. It must be Enugu bound at least. ‘This must be the hand of God,’ I thought. ‘Wow! This road is beginning to look familiar!’ the smiles became real once again.
We were no more interested and hardly remembered the 140 bound. We were glad to have been back home. We saw the event in new light. Our mouths were filled with tales. We earnestly sought food and got some over abundant. The night was merry. ‘Adventure satisfaction’ ruled. ‘Emeka, care for more adventures?’ You could guess his answer.
Gozie Cyprain (lifeline writer)
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