Art Exhibition

FECAMDS Art exhibition dinner, you are cordially invited. Tuesday, 27th August, 2013, 6 pm, students centre, university of Nigeria, Enugu campus (UNEC). You won't like the story retailed.

May Article 2: Do Good Anyway

DO GOOD ANYWAY   “People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”  ― Mother Teresa   These are heart touching excerpts from the tables of Mother Theresa of Calcutta. It interests us to share these ife changing pieces with you. One goes down history lane and are touched by the richness of lessons of life expounded by great thinkers, some like the above who shroud themselves in thick self-effacing veils of anonymity on account of heroic humility. Yet, we fish them out because their goodness exude strong aromas.  Here, lets take a look at some of the lines. People are often unreasonabe and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. This hardly needs expounding. Since only about none in a thousand and perhaps then, none in a million may not be so, we are all too sobered to announce to you a sentence of unconditional pardoning of all your tresspassers for life!   If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. This strictly is assuming you at least are kind. Well, we thank God for that. We are well aware though, that you are all but too kind. So, we are happy to announce that this piece actually saves your back. The only wonder we may only entertain is that about how many people you have accused of even more than ulterior motives! We can only hope that now, an equivalent amount will benefit from your new found mind.   If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If mother theresa was in Nigeria, someone must be of the opininion that she will carefully avoid this word, as everyone will regard her as psychotic where she talks to herself! Well, do not be discourged yet, we learnt from Jesus that a few good salt are flavouring this porridge called Nigeria. We are all too proud to observe that our humble you is the only good salt in that neighbourhood. Up you, but note we tell you that you had better detected that debauchery on time or you they will render you bankrupt! However, mother theresa exhorts, go bankrupt anyway? No! Be honest anyway. Whatever that means.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.  Here, one observes that mother theresa made a provision for may be. The question is, have you found happiness? Goodluck if you’re still searchng for one but what if you find happiness in sin? Then ? Are you thinking what we are thinking? Hell no, because the saints won’t get jealous, only your friends from you know where. Genuine happiness, Mother Theresa must have concluded, is continually out of armslength. That your joy will be full is a consequenceof an action who that man that inspired Mother Theresa so much adviced somewhere in the bible, which you could search for and type in comment box to help others afer  you find it. Sure, some peope maybe jealous you typed it first but, if it is your happiness that you found it and did it, next line says, do good anyway.   The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.  Permit us to allude to our above immediate past task example.     Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.  Here again, Mother Theresa euphemistically expressed another strong point- it may never be enough. Wow! Is that how hungry the world is? Most surely yes. Give the world your best, it may never be enough, it would threaten to make you discouraged by rationalizing thus: that you may as well give second class since your best is not good enough, give your best all the same for you see, the next line completes the fact.     For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway! Oh! What a piece! Thank God for mother theresa, she has by this piece helped God to make this world so much better. Share to make viral the good news. See the poem of her which we would release this next coming day.   Lifeline magazine editorialcrew.

May Poem 2: Life

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.”
― Mother Teresa

APRIL FUN FACTS

Fun fact 1: Lingual lipase is actually produced in the fundus of the stomach, not the tongue! April food! Fun fact 2: Babies are given many sweet things in life but are denied of the sweetest thing known to mankind; they are kept put from honey because there is just an ever fearsome risk of botulism! Poor babies! Fun fact 3: Chocolate is loved by all. 'Chocolate cyst' is a disease. Now what's chocolate about a disease? Fun fact 4: Your tongue print is unique- just like your finger print! In case you want to lick the blood off that table, hey! You will rather be signing your very presence. Fun fact 5: 'Slapped cheek syndrome!' Imagine that name for a disease! Fun fact 6: Your brain matter is not sensitive to pain. Just where does all those headaches come from? Pain sensitive structures within the brain- blood vessels, meninges and what again dear? Fun fact 7: Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid! Fun fact 8: Niceness ca actually be a symptom - Williams syndrome! Do we need to say more? Rudeness of course is an evident symptom: Differentials somebody, Neuro..? Fun fact 9: Patient is not responding to treatment and yet declined an autopsy! Fun fact 10: The patient is a 79-year-old widow who no longer lives with her husband. Fun fact 11: Traditional doctors somewhere perform 'uvulectomy' on the child to enhance breastfeeding! Fun fact 12: 'Erythema toxicum!' Do you know the disease? Then do you know that there is 'nothing TOXIC' about it? Hahaha. Fun fact 13: Belly dancer's sign! Up and towards shifting of umbilicus in an ipsilateral unilateral diaphragmatic paralysis. Lol Fun fact 14: 'Cracked-pot note!' Ever heard the sound? Find an adult with hydrocephalus! Warning, the head will not be big; just go about percussing every of your adult friends head! Good luck. Fun fact 15: A disease can 'teach' one to 'dance!' Chorea: Huntington, Sydenham, gravidarum, drug induced, Wilson, prion, Neuroacanthosis.... Fun fact 16: Do you know that there are first, second, third, fourth, fifth and sixth diseases? Now isn't that the order in which they were....Anybody who tells us the reason for their numbering gets a reward. Share with your friends today, now, please. Let's make it interactive. Fun fact 17: Submersion into ice for patients! Think of any indication? Diagnosis of cold agglutinins! Fun fact 18: Is there no form of disorder we would see! Binge Eating Disorder!!! Fun fact 19: Tetralogy of Fallot in most cases, is actually pentalogy! Fun fact 20: Job in the Bible, you know his medical ailment? Then consider Job syndrome- Hyper IgE syndrome. Nobody asked devil though! When we get to heaven we verify! Fun fact 21: Coma is pseudodeath. Do you know that there is pseudocoma? Locked-in syndrome of the basilar artery! Fun fact 22: Pins syndrome! Is there no form of syndrome there will exist. Wait for the name of the syndrome you'll hear tomorrow. Meanwhile you know any syndrome? Fun fact 23: Cold chest syndrome! We promised you an awkward syndrome this day! Fun fact 24: Wow! Wow! Wow! Parasitosis! Parasitosis! Parasitosis! And there is no parasite! Delusional Parasitosis! Wittmaack-Ekbom syndrome! Fun fact 25: Do you know of the disorder 'Messiah Complex?' Then are you one? Do you also know that it is not listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental disorders? Does this mean it is not a diagnosis considering that you are a possibly chronic patient? Fun fact 26: Berries. Something beautiful. Berry aneurysm, a harrowing time bomb! Why a good name for a bad dog? Fun fact 27: Gravidity and Parity are conventionally used to state the reproductive achievements of a woman. Now, someone tell us how to represent: 1) Molar pregnancy. What is the gravidity of a woman with PSEUDOCYESIS? LOL! Fun fact 28: Soldiers disease! Guess what it is. Morphine addiction! Fun fact 29: Oh! the many uses of gold: first a precious metal, then a drug! Gold is used to treat arthritis!Fun fact 30: Do live in a castle, then beware of Castleman's disease with its onion skinning and lollipop sign. Oh! Here wraps up the diamond month. Let us look forward to the May Flowers especially from Mary. Represent your field of knowledge. Send in fun facts from your field to: lifelineunec@gmail.com or lifeline.unec@facebook.com

MAY ARTICLE 1: How to Write About Africa

Always use the word ‘Africa’ or ‘Darkness’ or ‘Safari’ in your title. Subtitles may include the words‘Zanzibar’, ‘Masai’,‘Zulu’,‘Zambezi’,‘Congo’, ‘Nile’, ‘Big’, ‘Sky’, ‘Shadow’,‘Drum’, ‘Sun’ or ‘Bygone’. Also useful are words such as‘Guerrillas’,‘Timeless’, ‘Primordial’ and ‘Tribal’. Note that ‘People’ means Africans who are not black, while ‘The People’ means black Africans. Never have a picture of a well-adjusted African on the cover of your book, or in it, unless that African has won the Nobel Prize. An AK-47, prominent ribs, naked breasts: use these. If you must include an African, make sure you get one in Masai or Zulu or Dogon dress. In your text, treat Africa as if it were one country. It is hot and dusty with rolling grasslands and huge herds of animals and tall, thin people who are starving.Or it is hot and steamy with very short people who eat primates. Don’t get bogged down with precise descriptions. Africa is big: fifty-four countries, 900 million people who are too busy starving and dying and warring and emigrating to read your book. The continent is full of deserts, jungles, highlands, savannahs and many other things, but your reader doesn’t care about all that, so keep your descriptions romantic and evocative and unparticular. Make sure you show how Africans have music and rhythm deep in their souls, and eat things no other humans eat. Do not mention rice and beef and wheat; monkey-brain is an African's cuisine of choice, along with goat, snake, worms and grubs and all manner of game meat. Make sure you show that you are able to eat such food without flinching, and describe how you learn to enjoy it— because you care. Taboo subjects: ordinary domestic scenes, love between Africans (unless a death is involved), references to African writers or intellectuals, mention of school-going children who are not suffering from yaws or Ebola fever or female genital mutilation. Throughout the book, adopt a sotto voice, in conspiracy with the reader, and a sad I-expected-so-much tone. Establish early on that your liberalism is impeccable, and mention near the beginning how much you love Africa, how you fell in love with the place and can’t live without her. Africa is the only continent you can love—take advantage of this. If you are a man, thrust yourself into her warm virgin forests. If you are a woman, treat Africa as a man who wears a bush jacket and disappears off into the sunset. Africa is to be pitied, worshiped or dominated. Whichever angle you take, be sure to leave the strong impression that without your intervention and your important book, Africa is doomed. Your African characters may include naked warriors, loyal servants, diviners and seers, ancient wise men living in hermitic splendour. Or corrupt politicians, inept polygamous travel-guides, and prostitutes you have sleptwith. The Loyal Servant always behaves like a seven-year-old and needs a firm hand; he is scared of snakes, good with children, and always involving you in his complex domestic dramas. The Ancient Wise Man always comes from a noble tribe (not the money-grubbing tribes like the Gikuyu, the Igbo or the Shona). He has rheumy eyes and is close to the Earth. The Modern African is a fat man who steals and works in the visa office, refusing to give work permits to qualified Westerners who really care about Africa. He is an enemy of development, always using his government job to make it difficult for pragmatic and good-hearted expats to set up NGOs or Legal Conservation Areas. Or he is an Oxford-educated intellectual turned serial-killing politician in a Savile Row suit. He is a cannibal who likes Cristal champagne, and his mother is a rich witch-doctor who really runs the country. Among your characters you must always include The Starving African, who wanders the refugee camp nearly naked, and waits for the benevolence of the West. Her children have flies on their eyelids and pot bellies, and her breasts are flat and empty. She must look utterly helpless. She can have no past, no history; such diversions ruin the dramatic moment. Moans are good. She must never say anything about herself in the dialogue except to speak of her (unspeakable) suffering. Also be sure to include a warm and motherly woman who has a rolling laugh and who is concerned for your well-being. Just call her Mama. Her children are all delinquent. These characters should buzz around your main hero, making him look good. Your hero can teach them, bathe them, feed them; he carries lots of babies and has seen Death. Your hero is you (if reportage), or a beautiful, tragic international celebrity/aristocrat who now cares for animals (if fiction). Bad Western characters may include children of Tory cabinet ministers, Afrikaners, employees of the World Bank. When talking about exploitation by foreigners mention the Chinese and Indian traders. Blame the West for Africa's situation. But do not be too specific. Broad brushstrokes throughout are good. Avoid having the African characters laugh, or struggle to educate their kids, or just make do in mundane circumstances. Have them illuminate something about Europe or America in Africa. African characters should be colourful, exotic, larger than life—but empty inside, with no dialogue, no conflicts or resolutions in their stories, no depth or quirks to confuse the cause. Describe, in detail, naked breasts(young, old, conservative, recently raped, big, small) or mutilated genitals, or enhanced genitals. Or any kind of genitals. And dead bodies. Or, better,naked dead bodies. And especially rotting naked dead bodies. Remember, any work you submit in which people look filthy and miserable will be referred to as the ‘real Africa’, and you want that on your dust jacket. Do not feel queasy about this: you are trying to help them to get aid from the West. The biggest taboo in writing about Africa is to describe or show dead or suffering white people. Animals, on the other hand, must be treated as well rounded, complex characters. They speak (or grunt while tossing their manes proudly) and have names, ambitions and desires. They also have family values: see how lions teach their children? Elephants are caring, and are good feminists or dignified patriarchs. So are gorillas. Never, ever say anything negative about an elephant or a gorilla. Elephants may attack people’s property, destroy their crops, and even kill them. Always take the side of the elephant. Big cats have public-school accents. Hyenas are fair game and have vaguely Middle Eastern accents. Any short Africans who live in the jungle or desert may be portrayed with good humour (unless they are in conflict with an elephant or chimpanzee or gorilla, in which case they are pure evil). After celebrity activists and aid workers, conservationists are Africa’s most important people. Do not offend them. You need them to invite you to their 30,000-acre game ranch or ‘conservation area’, and this is the only way you will get to interview the celebrity activist. Often a book cover with a heroic-looking conservationist on it works magic for sales. Anybody white, tanned and wearing khaki who once had a pet antelope or a farm is a conservationist, one who is preserving Africa’s rich heritage. When interviewing him or her, do not ask how much funding they have; do not ask how much money they make off their game. Never ask how much they pay their employees. Readers will be put off if you don’t mention the light in Africa. And sunsets, the African sunset is a must. It is always big and red. There is always a big sky. Wide empty spaces and game are critical—Africa is the Land of Wide Empty Spaces. When writing about the plight of flora and fauna, make sure you mention that Africa is overpopulated. When your main character is in a desert or jungle living with indigenous peoples (anybody short) it is okay to mention that Africa has been severely depopulated by Aids and War (use caps). You’ll also need a nightclub called Tropicana, where mercenaries, evil nouveau riche Africans and prostitutes and guerrillas and expats hang out. Always end your book with Nelson Mandela saying something about rainbows or renaissances. Because you care. ■ By Binyavanga Wainaina.

MAY POEM 1: Human trafficking: The story of trust and betrayal.

Once upon a time, I nurtured a dream I foresaw a day I stood on top of the world I could see the green pastures greener than ever All I needed was just a help Along came a man, carrying and sympathetic He listened keenly as I narrated my story He promised to give me the help I needed Oh! God, if only I knew he was just an Actor Before I knew it,I had my visa and passport I can't believe I'm "janding" The eagles have landed; it's my time to shine I will be back in a few years, rich and sophisticated Wait a minute, I'm confused Why do I have a room in a brothel as my address? What am I to do with all these male customers? All of a sudden, the world is on top of me A decade later,I sit in the doctor's office with my HIV+ test result No money, no friends; l feel alone in this foreign land I remember all my childhood dreams and family at home Only God knows the kind and severity of pain I bear Sochima Jennifer Ilonze. 2013 graduating class of FECAMDS ( Culled From 2011 edition of lifeline magazine- 'The Glow.')

love; the gift of angels

Lifeline ( www.lifelinemagz.blogpot.com. ’lifeline magz’ on facebook. ’Lifeline Unec’ on twitter) Love: the gift of Angels ‘This is totally unimaginable! No, it can’t be real; it took her so long to make the decision of dating ND. This is the third time in their six month relationship that he scolded her and attempted to beat her……’ At 26, Amaka had been in about 12 relationships which were actually a ‘tasting the waters’ variant. ND wooed her for a year. She said no because time was no longer on her side.He was the normal tall, dark, handsome, good pay cheque kind of that guy who believes that, “get money and everything follows.” Amaka was light skinned, petite, beautiful, made ‘six figures’ every month and is what one will like to call ‘very comfortable.’ She is a regular church-girl, sings in the choir, attend Sunday services and goes for special conventions organized by big “pastors.” Their first two months were ‘magical.’ He took her to all the fool spots in town, spoilt her with designer perfumes and clothes, cards and so much more. She was beginning to believe that she has found her man until the honeymoon went over. It began with those little things; not picking her calls and giving silly excuses that he was in a meeting and was often too exhausted to call back. She then resorted to text messaging which he rarely replied or did in monosyllables. Most weekends were spent in his place doing the dishes and cleaning up. Sometimes he had come home with lipstick stains on his shirt and proffered the vague excuse that a colleague accidentally bumped into him unaware of the fact that his body boomed of female perfume. The height was when she took a sick absent from work only to look after his sick younger sister as he said he was ‘tied up with work.’ Guys were always flocking around her; colleagues at work, friends at church and some interested young men from her hometown but she always turned them down being a faithful love-struck girlfriend and what was her reward? A lying, cheating boyfriend; but Amaka continued because she believed that ‘somehow, things will turn around’ and he will get to see how much she loves him. She continued having this ‘delusion’ despite a tangible crop of her friends who kept on telling her that they actually see him with young ladies eating in expensive restaurants. She replies; ‘That must be his colleague from the office that he told me about’ I guess she believed and practices 1 Corinthians 13:4- love is kind, love is not jealous… then where did she really go wrong? A year later, she was left with a broken heart, a child to take care of and no shoulder to lean on. She kept praying to God because she knew she had ‘given all.’ Six months later, he came back apologizing and she accepted him; of course in tears. Valentine, his life was love. A priest in 270 A.D, during the great persecution, he helped Christians escape the persecution and administered marriage , which was then outlawed by the Roman empire and other sacraments, under Claudius II. ‘Marriage,’ he said, ‘do not make good soldiers!’ True? It follows suit that we all should pick a lesson from these two individuals- to love selflessly! Unlike a friend of mine who lied to his parents about money to buy unauthorized textbooks that he needs ‘before February 1st,’ when in actual facts, he wants to buy gifts for his girlfriend or a story I heard of a girl who absented herself for 24 hours only to resurface the next day with a ‘Bold 5!’ The story continues to even working class ladies who use their six months’ salary savings to get their guy a Val’s gift. Yes, all these later three loved but not selflessly. To do this calls for wisdom, not spending so much on one day for just a particular person and hoping to gain rewards or benefits. February 14th is a day that reminds us that love is the greatest of its contemporaries, faith and hope. It is a day to look around and see someone who is in need of a ‘touch of God’ and reach out to that person. As you do this, His peace surpassing all human understanding will dwell with you. Happy valentine. Adigwe Chika